Deep Thought
September 29, 2005 at 10.43 amLast night, I left 42nd Street early. Think it was at around 1.15am. That’s quite possibly the first time that I’ve EVER left a nightclub early of my own accord.
All very bizarre. I had something of a moment of extreme clarity. In short, I realised that I just wasn’t enjoying myself, and was drinking at an alarming rate, just to try and get some enjoyment into the night. It wasn’t the company*, or the music…I just wasn’t having fun.
* I would say that, of course - they all read this blog!
So, for a change, I stopped drinking and went home.
More contemplation on the bus home, which was of course filled with horribly young students.
One of the things I realised (there were several) was that I’m not enjoying the hectic social whirl as much as I used to. I’ve often described myself as “in a rut” - it’s a very enjoyable rut, but I’m not really going anywhere. It’s got to the point where I crave evenings in…possibly with a glass of wine to accompany the DVD, but evenings in nonetheless.
The last few times I’ve been out clubbing, I’ve enjoyed it much less than I used to. Could be symptomatic of some general malaise, but I don’t think that’s quite it.
I’m stretching myself too thin. Believe it or not, there’s this Mahinda out there who’s sharp and actually remembers stuff, rather than the one who just meanders around in a sleep-deprived (or alcohol-soaked) daze. I also think that I may be dangerously close to a psychological alcohol addition.
I’m definitely not going teetotal - I could never give up real ale - but I’m definitely going to cut down on the weekday drinking. And I’m going to learn to say no, as in “no, I’m not going out to a nightclub tonight”.
Unfortunately, I don’t think my weekends are going to get less hectic - I’m already all but booked up until Christmas. In the Red Lion on Monday night, Becky told me to keep (next) September 23rd free for her wedding. I replied that I think I’m busy on that day. I’ve just checked - I’m most probably off to a wedding on the 25th, in Sri Lanka. There is the chance that I could do both…but that really would be cutting it fine.
It sucks being popular, doesn’t it?!? I hate picking between people, and then you feel you should go to stuff when you don’t really want to (but don’t always realise before) cause you missed something else… Then people make out you’re a bad person for not wanting to be out ALL night. (BTW - This isn’t really the Goonie lot cause I know you’re reading - it’s everyone and I know I do it too)
I say pah to having friends.
Comment by Alsion OHB — September 29, 2005 @ 2.35 pm
Nooo, Mahinda you’re sounding old? I was planning on silently stalking you for ever and a day, but I can’t have you contemplating quiet nights in, so I’ve broken the silence, so there, go out, now, and don’t come back till at least 10pm! ;o)
Comment by hbc stalker — October 5, 2005 @ 12.27 am
Oooh, a mysterious stalker!
I’m hoping it’s a ravishingly beautiful brunette, tall and slender, with a glint in her eye and sparkle in her smile.
But it’s probably just some pikey.
Comment by mahinda — October 5, 2005 @ 11.47 am